Membership Meetings and the need to feel Important

I have recently attended the last two membership meetings at my church. It is so interesting to see people and how they function when given a microphone, Some hold it as if it is this foreign object that they have never seen and act surprised when their voice is magnified when they speak into it. Or the person that just comes to really just raise havoc, whether they mean to or not, or that guy that asks the question that is totally out of place in regards to the context of the discussion going on, "Are there any questions for the staff"? Yeah uh, What about the pond, what are we doing with that? Stocking it with fish or what?, You have all probably been there.

Interestingly enough i have noticed something, or rather have been reminded once again about the nature us humans. We all thrive for acceptance, to trust, and to feel needed. Years ago when I worked in human services in NY for an organization that provided care for folks with Developmental Disabilities, I was meeting with my boss discussing why people leave their jobs, or do not show up for work. ( I was a manager in charge of schedules and appts. so I was blowing off steam about my employees to my supervisor) what he said next really has influenced me. This Guy was not a believer in fact he was a Jewish Rabbi that i have had many sweet talks with, but anyway he asked me what I thought was the number one reason people leave there job or do not show up for work. Of course in all my business experience I said, "They want more money or they are just lazy."

He began to tell me that the real reason, the number 1 reason people leave their jobs or do not show up for work is because they do not feel appreciated and that they do not think that they matter......

Now of course I am thinking this is pooey, I mean come on everyone leaves because of money..... But then I got to thinking of the jobs I have left due to money vs. relational issues.

I say all this as back ground for the last two meetings at my church I attended: The first meeting was in regards to passing a amendment or changing the constitution in regards to how much power or "say" the elders had. Our church has been through a lot in the last 5 years, and the trust factor is obviously down, people are feeling unappreciated and do not trust the leadership to have any more "say then they already do". This is a relational issue, the "bill" "vote" whatever was not passed by about a third maybe, enough to be a reminder of the need for people to feel safe and know that they want to be heard. This is an issue of self worth and control, and a need to be heard. The meeting brought heated discussion, hurtful questions, character attacks, people are scared, they lash out, they feel inferior, they thrive on relationship

Last night was a totally different story, This meeting was about money and the budget, Now what I find interesting is I am expecting this same group of people to be even worse, you know what, Unanimous, Unanimous in favor of all the budgets! What I mean this is money we are talking about, in fact a bigger heftier budget than last year, Passed it, no problem, People are not primarily concerned with giving their money as they are with knowing their money makes a difference, they have control over it, (so we think) we can see it put to use, we can say, "I matter, my money helped". I left the meeting once again surprised, but already knowing this concept this truth, that we are communal primarily and when we fee worth and security, we will give to anyone for any cause.

We just want to be appreciated, maybe for the wrong reasons, but we do, If we try to fill that with finding our self worth with something other then God we are left stripped, Naked, like Adam and Eve. The Creator is ultimately fulfilled by the Creator only.

People need to feel important, people thrive on relationship.